HOW TO BE A GOOD MOM EVEN WHEN YOU ARE FEELING DOWN

Feeling stressed and overwhelmed in motherhood? Find simple things to remember here that can help you be a good mom even when you are feeling discouraged

When it comes to parenting, not all days are going to be perfect. We have to accept that parenting is a beautiful mixture of good days and bad days. There will be days when you will feel great after having a very fulfilled and satisfying day with your little one but then there will also be days when you will feel utterly miserable or guilty after having a chaotic and messy day with your kids. Whatever day it is, remember being able to bring a life into this world and bring him up into an amazing and responsible adult, is in itself a big deal and you should give yourself credit for that.

So coming back to feeling discouraged in motherhood which is a common feeling that moms often feel. I have had many of those days and recently with the lockdown I have been having these moments quite frequently. There is chaos and struggle for simple things like not eating dinner, brushing, or not ready to take a nap which pushes me over the rock at times. But there have also been days when my daughter has followed her routine from cover to cover I.e, she woke up on time, slept on time, ate what was given to her, had a great storytime session, and was happily playing by herself, and in turn, I had the most peaceful and relaxing day. I wish all days are like that but the reality is far different! 🙂

As a mother, I have learned to embrace the chaos. It’ so easy for a beautiful moment that you are having at home with your family, can suddenly be transformed into a cry out and cranky session because your little one suddenly changed his mind and wants something that he is not allowed to have..haha.. which worst of all can also lead to a fight between the parents! If you are reading this, then please note you are not alone. I have had those days and I am sure there are many that will come by in the future, that is the sweet reality of motherhood.

If your intention from this post is to get some magic formula on how to be a good mom then I have to break it to you that there is no definition for a good mom. If you as a mom is caring for your little one, taking out time to spend with him, showing up for things that are important to him, and giving him all the love that he needs, then you are a good mom. Your kid is fortunate that he has a loving mother who cares for him a lot and he is extremely lucky to have you in your life.

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How to stop feeling stressed and enjoy motherhood instead

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Simple things to remember when you are feeling discouraged in motherhood!

Don’t isolate yourself

Isolation is the biggest trigger that can make anyone feel lost and discouraged in life. Motherhood is hard work and not having anyone to vent out the struggles and wins with can overwhelm anyone and leave them feeling down.

I know taking care of kids, running a home is a lot of work but it is important to have a group of people who can help you during your tough times or on those days when you just want to talk to someone. So as a mom, it is important to mingle, connect with like-minded moms who are just a phone call away, and form your own small community who are there for you. So remember to take time out to mingle so that you don’t feel stressed and alone!

Keep away from the negative environment

We don’t often realize that but surrounding yourself with negativity can actually leave you feeling sad and depressed.

Personally, I often get very upset with sad news around me, which makes me feel very down, and in turn, I take that out on my loved ones. So to remain positive, I have started to keep away from negative news and negative people and I don’t watch sad and depressing movies as well. I am not very successful all the time, but trying to make a conscious effort to keep away from negativity, helps me keep and stay positive most of the time.

Also, another thing that you can do is engage in positive self-talk. On days when you are feeling extremely discouraged – just talk to yourself. Remind yourself that you are doing a great job and you are a good mom, you will be surprised what a big mood-lifter positive self-talk can be.

Let go and relax

As I have spoken about this before, not all days are going to be perfect as per your plan. So on those days don’t try to get ahead of yourself and be a supermom who can do it all. This kind of attitude can leave you stressed and unsatisfied at times. So embrace the chaos and just let go of a few things at times in your life that are beyond your control.

For example the other day my daughter disagreed for her afternoon nap. It made me upset and felt like a huge struggle, but eventually, I gave in and let her miss her afternoon nap. I could not get done with the things that I had in mind for the afternoon, but I got a few extra hours in the night because my daughter was so tired that she fell asleep early. So, a messy situation finally ended up into a *win-win*.

Stop comparing yourself to others

These days all of us are on social media which can have a positive as well as adverse effects on us sometimes. When at the moment we are feeling down and scroll and see someone else having the best time of his life, it makes you feel very depressed and discouraged in life.

The truth is we never get to see the whole picture into someone else’s life. What we see is the positive and beautiful moments, that the person has shared and we end up making a fictional picture in our mind that their life is always perfect.

Well, no one can have a perfect life. Life is a mixture of different emotions that we feel and that is why it is worth living and makes it a beautiful journey. So never compare yourself to others!

Always keep a routine for your kid in a place

This is very important. Maybe your routine might not go as perfectly as planned but having one in place will keep you busy and leave you with little time to feel down.

Also, your kids are engaged because they have their plates full. I have a few sample routines for kids 1-3 years old in this blog post here.

Spend time with your child

Spending a few hours doing whatever it is with your kid enjoys is the biggest gift that you can give your child. Just by showing up to read him a storybook or making a fun craft together is a big deal for your child.

Your child in your mind knows that he is loved and can communicate with you easily!

Related: Benefits of playtime with kids

Learn from your mistakes and move on

Fixating on something that did not go right the other day can make you unsatisfied. Instead, learn from it. No one is born into this world knowing everything that is about being a mom and that is why motherhood is called a journey where you learn new things at every step.

So if something did not go well or you made a mistake with your kid, just let it go. Learn from it and work on improving it in the future.

Remember you are doing a great job

In between all the chaos that motherhood offers, we often forget to give ourselves credit for all the hard work that we have been doing to raise these little ones.

Take time to remind yourself of what a great job you are doing in bringing up your child!

Take a break

And finally, if motherhood still feels overwhelming and exhausting, maybe it’s time to take a break and engage in some self-care and that is why it is important to have people around you who can help you during these tough times.

Just being able to talk to your girlfriends over a cup of coffee or taking a trip to the salon can leave feeling good and refreshed again.

Being a good mom is not like winning a trophy for your achievements. It’s just simple things like showing up when your child needs you and loving him. That is what your child needs from you.

Feeling discouraged and down in motherhood can happen many times to any mom and it is a part of the motherhood journey. So embrace it and enjoy this journey to the fullest!

And if you ever feel discouraged and have no one to talk to, know that you always have a friend here to talk. So feel free to connect with me on totallymomsense@gmail.com! **Hugs**