Developing patience is an art but after becoming a parent it is a must. Sharing a few simple steps that you can practice to become a more patient parent.

I have always thought of myself as a very patient person as someone who would deal with any situation with a lot of think through and calmness. But things changed after I became a mother. No matter how much patience I had, I could feel that in many situations I just wanted to give in. For instance, a few months back when my daughter was fifteen months old she had hit a new development milestone and was in the phase where she just wanted to cling to me all the time. She could not bear the idea of me being out of sight even for a few minutes. If I used the restroom I would hear her banging the door and crying out loud from the other end, if I was cooking she would hold my legs and just keep crying and the nights were the worst when she just disagreed to let go of me. On my end, I was feeling completely drained out. After a full day of work, running around, taking care of a little one, and not getting even a few moments at the end of the day for myself I was at the point of completely losing it. All this started to affect me a lot mentally. I was not taking good care of myself, stopped exercising at all, looking at everything in a very negative way, and most importantly complained about everything around.

It was one of those nights when I had a long day at work and no rest at home after that and suddenly in the middle of the night, my daughter woke up crying out loud and kept pushing me to wake up and rock her. It was at this moment that I completely broke and stormed out of my room in tears. Thank god for my amazing husband who took control of this situation and forced me to step out and take some time for myself. Sitting in the other room, I could hear my daughter crying out loudly and calling out for me. It was a very tough night. During this moment I took some time to reflect and think over what was really happening and what was going wrong. I cannot blame my kid or yell at her for her need to be around me because at the end of the day she is just being a toddler who needs all the love from me. Thinking about this I took out a pen and paper and jot down a few things that I promised myself to follow for the coming few weeks to bring a change in my attitude so that it will help me change my mindset, make me look at things in a positive way and mostly help me become a better parent and more patient parent to my little girl.

I reminded myself for the next couple of weeks again and again to follow these steps and I could feel a huge difference in my mindset and attitude. I had suddenly learned the art of being able to adjust my expectations when it came to getting work done, look at things more positively around me, deal with my daughter’s tantrums, and fussiness with a lot more patience and overall feel blessed for being gifted with this beautiful family. Here is how I learned to relax and be a more patient mother.

  1. Every morning make a list of to-do tasks for the day and rank them as per priority – A great way to mentally adjust your expectations for the day. Having a to-do list in front of me helped me be more organized and I did not feel that stressed about things not getting done.
  2. Adjust your expectations – This is so important. Being a parent is hard work and there is a lot to get done. If, as per your expectations you were not able to clean the home or load the dishwasher don’t fret over it. Understand that it is not the most important thing in the world, your kid is. More than having a clean home, it is important to have a happy child.
  3. Plan your meals ahead of time for the week – I use to stress a lot about this all the time. Feeding your child and more importantly good and healthy food is the most important thing on any parent’s mind. But after a long day at work and dealing with the little one’s tantrum, keeping up with cooking daily can get very tough and very stressful. I started taking some time out on Sunday night and making a list of all the meals that my little girl will be eating over the coming week and sticking it on my fridge. This was very helpful to me and helped me feel more relax. I use these post-it sticks notes to make my list. Also, this one is a good option and this one also.
  4. Time management – Something I struggle with often and I am still trying to become better at it. Managing your time between getting ready, going to work, playtime with my daughter, and cooking is very important. But again, it is also important to remember, that things might not always go as per plan. At that time take a step back and adjust your expectations and understand what is really important to get done and what can be tossed over to the next day.
  5. Count to 1,2,3 – Whenever you face a situation where you have a compelling urge to yell at your little one just count to 1,2 3. This has helped me by diverting my mind and helping me understand that my little one is just being a toddler and the situation is passed on.
  6. Meditate – There are many benefits of meditation one of them is learning to be more patient. I meditate for 10 minutes every morning when the house is the quietest with everyone asleep by closing my eyes and listening to soft music and trying to disconnect with all my thoughts. This has been such a game-changer. It has helped me gain a better perspective on life. I look forward to the day with a lot more enthusiasm and cherish all the good times I get to spend with my little girl.
  7. Do one good thing for yourself in a day to recharge yourself – For me, that good thing is exercising. Every day I spend 30 minutes a day walking, running, or in the gym to spend time with myself. Giving this a me-time gift to myself makes me feel so good, energized, and happy.
  8. Understand your child – Give some thought to what can help your child calm down in extreme situations. Maybe it's nursery rhymes, or it is rocking and taking your child for a walk outside. Whatever it is that will distract and help your child calm down use it to your benefit in those times when things get really crazy.
  9. Laughter therapy – A small trick but can help you through any situation. My daughter is still a very light sleeper and wakes up crying and wants to be rocked in the middle of the night. Instead of getting angry, scolding her I just laugh when she is being pushy. It sounds funny but it is such a huge ice-breaker. Recently while I was smiling at my daughter’s tantrums in the night, my husband laughed along with me and this made me realize that these are the moment although really rough right now but will always be our most treasured memories of us bringing up our child together and trying to do the best we can for her.
  10. Look at the bigger picture – At the end of it all, when all the above steps fail. Just pause for a moment and look at the bigger picture. Your child growing up is a phase, tomorrow there will be a new phase with new challenges but this day will pass and you might miss it. Like I miss the times when I could just hold my little girl and all she wanted to do all the time was to hug and sleep. At that time, being a new mom I felt tired and exhausted but those were some of my most treasured memories.

Love your child, embrace your day. Every day with your little one is a blessing, treasure and enjoy it to the most you can.

“The sign of great parenting is not the child's behavior. The sign of truly great parenting is the parent's behavior.” – Andy Smithson

 

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