Are you struggling to sleep train your little one and wondering as to what are you doing wrong? Find the top 7 sleep training mistakes that parents often make and tips on how to solve them!
Tired of waking up to a screaming and cranky baby in the middle of the night who is not hungry or not uncomfortable but still isn’t just able to sleep by himself. I often wonder that something as simple as sleeping should be easy and should come naturally but still why babies are unable to sleep.
When I was pregnant I had read a ton of baby books and in that, I would often come across the sleep training topic, but at that time I had no idea how difficult it would be to deal with a tired and exhausted baby. It was only until I had my daughter, I began to realize as to how important it is to sleep train your baby. A well-rested baby in return is a well-rested mom!
But still, from my personal experience, I struggled with sleep training my daughter. It was tough and I would easily give in to her crying and often break our sleep patterns because of that. Now that I have three years of parenting experience and have officially witnessed the worst of sleep patterns of waking up multiple times in the night and the after-effects of what it would do to me during the day, I have compiled this list of top seven sleep training mistakes that a parent can make while sleep training their kids and tips on how to avoid them.
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Top 7 sleep training mistakes you must be making and how to avoid them
Sleep training at the wrong time
If you are struggling with sleep training then the very first cue to pick up from your baby is his willingness to sleep train. Babies up to 4 months of age are still getting used to the outside world and usually take short duration naps. Hence it is recommended to start a gentle sleep training approach after the baby reaches 4 months of age.
I had started to notice a huge difference in my daughter after she turned 6 months old, her naps were longer, she would not want to feed in short intervals. But every baby is different, some are ready even before that. Hence before four months, just follow your baby’s cues and let him guide you but somewhere between 4-6 months, you can gently start a sleep training routine.
Not creating an ideal sleep environment
Creating a good sleep environment is so vital to how soon your baby is able to sleep train. A baby does not require a whole lot to go to sleep, just some small but extremely important things like a dark room, some white noise, a well-fitted crib or bassinet, and a baby monitor for you to keep a lookout on your baby.
After you have the ideal sleep environment in place the next thing is to keep the environment consistent and not make any big changes to it.
Inconsistent bedtime routine
Following a consistent and good nighttime routine is the foundation of sleep training your baby. When you repeat the same bedtime routine with your little one, again and again, it somewhere goes into his subconscious mind and he becomes aware of what to expect next which in turn will help him fall asleep better.
You can form a simple bedtime routine that is easy to follow. For example, our bedtime routine looked something like this
- 6:30 PM – Dinner
- 7:00 PM – Massage followed by bath time
- 7:30 PM – Storytime (with lullabies music in the background)
- 8:00 PM – Sleep time
Inconsistent parenting approach to sleep training
This is a very common sleep training mistake that parents make and I had myself realized it only with time. Usually, I would put my daughter to sleep, and then my husband would put her to bed in the middle of the night if she wakes up and I would cater to her early morning.
But sometimes with both of us working full-time, I would not be able to put my daughter to sleep in the night or if my husband had an early morning meeting, he would not be available in the night. This inconsistency would make my daughter cry and be uncomfortable and unable to sleep.
Sleep training is all about consistency so that your baby can pick the familiar patters and get used to it. Hence, it’s important for both the parents to sit down and jot out a sleep training plan, that will work for both of you.
Sleep training during a big transitional phase
Avoid attempting sleep training when you are in the middle of a big transitional phase. For example, if you are moving your baby to his new room or a new bed, then it is best to initially help your baby adjust to the room for the first few weeks and then gently introduce sleep training.
Form a good bedtime routine with your baby in his new ambiance and then follow the sleep training steps. Babies pick up on new changes instantly and can easily get restless by that, hence when it comes to sleep training it is best to start when your baby is comfortable in his current environment.
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Parents are not mentally ready
This was my biggest sleep training mistake. Although I had started to sleep train my daughter I was still not mentally ready. So when she started to cry out loudly, I could not take it and would often give in. This was bad because I was making my baby go through the cry out sessions, but still, I was not mentally ready to sleep train. It was cry and vain for nothing, in which both of us suffered.
Sleep training will involve a little bit of crying especially if you are trying to train an older kid. Infants don’t have much of a clue about what’s happening and so are easier to train whereas a toddler is very well aware of his surroundings and have his own expectations and hence it can be really difficult to sleep train.
But whatever situation you are in, make sure to attempt sleep training only when you have made up your mind.
Feeding multiple times in the night
Lastly, every time your baby wakes up in the middle of the night it might not always be because of hunger. Babies after six to nine months of age, don’t require to be fed multiple times in the night. Hence, it is important to form a fixed feeding routine in the night as that will help your baby sleep better. If you are looking for tips on how to wean nighttime feeding, then you can check out my blog post here.
Related: 5 Effective steps to wean nighttime feedings
Every baby is different and will react to sleep training differently. What worked for one parent, might not always work for the other one. It is important to keep your patience during sleep training and keep your eyes on the end goal.
Imagine if you are able to successfully able to sleep train your baby, how peaceful the nights are going to be 🙂
Thanks for the texts. I’m just about to start sleep training and I’m wondering if I should wait some more. I have Susan Ubran’s book on sleep training (this one exactly: http://parental-love.com/shop/baby-sleep-training) and tips for newborns worked great. And since Amy is turning 4mo this weekend I was thinking about following the main training. Although she is premature so maybe it’s better to wait few more weeks. In fact with those tips (routine, white noise and swaddling) she’s pretty good at sleeping through night anyway.